A List of Seven Alternatives to Traditional Burial

1. Have your children stuff your corpse with M – 80’s. Allow your youngest grandchild to light the fuse.

2. Purchase a redwood before you go and build a treehouse high in its branches. Have your family mummify you with twigs, mud, grass, and pieces of string. Turn into a bird’s nest.

3. Build a pyramid. Go inside and wait until you need it.

4. Have your meat and bone ground into a sausage. Lie in an open casket at your wake as a coiled string of bratwurst.

5. Donate your head to your favorite local watering hole or hunting lodge for mounting above the bar. Specify that one of your eyelids must be sewn shut so you can be eternally winking.

6. Have your body floated out to sea on a raft constructed of all your worldly possessions.

7. Don’t do anything. Just asked to be left where you fall and let nature take it’s course. Maybe ask someone to film your decomposition for scientific purposes. This one can be easily done by donating yourself to The Body Farm at the University of Kentucky. Learn more here: http://video.nationalgeographic.com/video/science/health-human-body-sci/human-body/body-farm-sci/



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4 responses to “A List of Seven Alternatives to Traditional Burial

  1. hownottokillyourparents

    I have nominated you for a few blog awards. You can check the details here: http://hownottokillyourparents.wordpress.com/2013/01/02/more-awards-really/

  2. That post got some pretty big chuckles from me. Thanks for the laughs!

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