Illustration by Carabella Sands
I love to watch fish. Almost as much as I love to eat them. I don’t like to catch them all that much though. It’s boring. So here’s my one and only fishing story: Me and Dave were on some boat with his girlfriend. I didn’t have a girlfriend, but that’s another story. We were trying to catch a rockfish or something. Beats me, I was just there to get drunk. We didn’t catch anything for a really long time though and we started to go crazy out there. Conversation completely ceased and I even began pacing. On a boat! Pacing!
I was wanting badly to go back to the city and sit at a bar, when Dave made some lame joke about catching whales. Killer whales. I pretended to laugh, sarcastically. Then we actually caught one and I felt stupid.