Your List of Possible Futures When You Wake Up Tomorrow

1. You will wake up tomorrow.

2. You will not.

3. You will grow seven inches overnight.

4. Those seven inches will be in your toenails.

5. Your teeth will fall out.

6. Your teeth will keep growing until you are cast on television as a vampire or walrus.

7. Your hair will fall out.

8. Your hair will grow and wrap and knot around itself until it forms an extra pillow.

9. Your house will be like a protective shell around you while you drink your coffee.

10. Your house will suck you back inside and swallow you when you try to leave for work.

GOOD LUCK!

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