List of Ways to Prepare for a Job Interview

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1. Plastic Surgery

2. Buy a new necktie (preferably one of those ones with the cartoon naked ladies on the inside fold)

3. Get a tattoo of Ryan Gosling’s face, on your face (this works whether the applicant is male or female)

4. Rent a limousine, or several, as an escort to the location of the interview

5. Wear more make-up than usual (this also works whether the applicant is male or female)

6. Wear shoes

7. Buy a pet and bring it to the interview to demonstrate a record of managerial responsibility

8. Brush teeth, including all members of entourage that will be in attendance

9. Spend all existing funds in bank account

10. Make sure a ride is available (in case the interview goes long and the limos depart without notice)

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