List of Daily Hallucinations From Dog’s Point-Of-View

1. Owners sleeping under blanket have four legs.

2. Bug on window cannot be eaten no matter how hard he tries. Because bug is on outside of window. Later, when bug comes inside, it will seem like he climbed through the glass.

3. Blue person comes in a white box and drops of slips of paper in house’s mouth.

4. Fan is spinning in two directions at once. Must poke his nose in to check.

5. Leash is growing again as they walk. Dog starts to run. Leash stops growing.

6. Shadow on fridge looks like bug again. Dog must check.

7. Owner has magic boomerang throwing power over ball. Throws ball very far, shows it to dog less than a second later. Dog ready for owner to throw it again.

8. Stuffed toys move about house on their own. Constantly need to be rounded up.

9. Dog is blamed when owner passes gas. Dog believes it.

10. Dog goes to sleep. Dog dreams human dreams and wakes up very confused.

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