Top Ten Reasons Why I Haven’t Made A List In A While

1. People Online: People on the Internet keep saying that lists are stupid now, annoying and not funny anymore. You’ve got to listen closely to people on the Internet because there are so many of them and they are all talking so much at the same time.

2. The Economy: I spend a large portion of my day applying for jobs or researching jobs to apply for. Otherwise, I am writing books that are not in list form. If there were a job offer or a writing contract that demanded I write lists, I would probably spend all my time writing lists. I would hate myself too, because I am one of those “people online” mentioned above.

3. Lists: There are already a number of lists to read, so I thought: Why not make something else? “People online” have the list-thing covered already, even if they think it is stupid.

4. Holidays: During the holidays, I spend a lot of time doing things that distract me from making lists. Activities that make me forget lists existed in the first place.

5. Writer’s Block: I don’t actually have “writer’s block” (I have been writing a ton of stuff lately, just not lists) but I thought it would be a good one to add here because it is funny to imagine a person who only writes lists getting “writer’s block” yet it happens all the time I am sure.

6. Religion: I am considering founding a new religion that will likely be based around one list (not of “commandments” but of “demands”) and so I am distancing myself from all my previous lists because I want my followers to take me seriously.

7. You Have to Come Up With An Idea For Every Number In The List, Even Seven: Yep, even seven.

8. Racism: Somebody, one of the “people online,” told me that only white people of European descent wrote lists. I am pretty pale-skinned but only partially of European descent so I had to check with other “people online” to make sure it was cool that I was awarded this frivolous act of “privilege.”

9. I Don’t Really Care About Lists: Lists were never important to me. In fact, I don’t even remember writing any of them, yet they exist online and in print in a few places to prove that I once made some. This doesn’t bother me, but it doesn’t make me want to write lists either, except maybe this one.

10. Image Macros: I am trying to up my image macro game. Just kidding. Image macros are clearly the “new lists.”


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